After Eight Failed Cycles, We Got Our BFP!!!!!

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I haven’t written in this blog since March.  There are many huge life changes that have happened since I last wrote, and one of them happened this morning; my wife and I got our first two positive pregnancy tests!!!!

This has been a while coming.  Since my last update, we made six more pregnancy attempts, only to have them all end in blood and heartbreak.

It still feels surreal.  I’m terrified my period will show up, and perhaps it will.  I’m worried that this won’t last, which I’m honestly happy about.  I would rather expect the worst and not get too attached.  I’m excited, but cautious.  I’m trying to take this very slow.

Eight failed attempts before now…and it has all been worth it!!

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Officially Out For Cycle #2; Onto Cycle #3

My period came exactly on time, on Monday, right along with the new Moon.  It was hard at first, but I felt better later on.  This is something that just may take a while.  I keep reminding myself that it’s normal for a heterosexual couple to take a year of trying to become pregnant.

Our donor couple is all ready for cycle #3.  In fact, they were inquiring with me about the timing of it before my period showed up and we were officially out.

I talked with my wife, and her and I are in agreement; we’d like to try one more round with our primary donor couple, and if cycle #3 is unsuccessful, we may switch to our secondary donor couple for a few rounds/cycles.

There’s a chance that my eggs and our secondary donor’s sperm could be more compatible.  I figure it’s a shot in the dark, but many women in our TTC groups have had success after switching donors.

Many women in our groups also didn’t have success until a year, or even two, of trying.

I just keep reminding myself that we have to keep at it.  It seems daunting, to track ovulation and to get together with either donor couple, month, after month, after month.

Especially with how overwhelmed I’ve been with my career and clients lately.  Business is blossoming and blooming, and it’s amazing, but it’s also a lot to juggle along with TTCing.

Right now my wife and I are only looking at houses that our relator send us. via email, but in a few months we’ll actually need to start looking in person, and start preparing to make offers.

Thinking of juggling my expanding business, starting our first home-buying process, and still trying to conceive month to month has my head spinning.  I ended up having to take a mental health day for myself yesterday because of how burned out and busy I feel.

We may need to take a month off here or there from TTCing.  We’ll see what happens.  This has already been the craziest journey I’ve ever taken, and we are only two months into attempts.

Round #2 of Artificial Inseminations Are Now Complete

As of today my wonderful wife and I have completed round #2 of artificial inseminations.  This round was pretty wild and crazy because my surge and ovulation occurred 3-4 days later than my previous two cycles.

My first positive OPK (ovulation prediction kit) for the last two months occurred four days after I had finished my period.  On this, our second cycle, the first positive OPK happened a smooth seven days after I had finished my last period.

I experienced what so many women in my TTC Facebook groups have experienced; my period and cycle completely reset after the initial introduction of sperm inside my body.

What made this cycle of pregnancy attempts so wild and crazy is that my wife and I decided to start our attempts one day earlier than our previous cycle…and this happened before we realized my surge and ovulation were happening later this month!

The result of this was that we accidentally started the inseminations a bit early, ahead of my surge…which means that by the time the surge and ovulation actually happened we did a total of seven artificial inseminations.

…..SEVEN!!  I mean, what the even hell!?

The amazing thing about all of this is that our donor was completely understanding about all of it.  I was honest with him about my surge and cycle being different this month, and before I could even ask if there were any way he could give us even more inseminations after the initial three, he beat me to it by saying “No problem, we’ll just continue with the inseminations until you surge.”

…I’ll truly never understand how we got so lucky with a donor.

The area we live in was predicted to be hit with a pretty large snowstorm this week, and so to be able to continue inseminations my wife and I purposely got snowed in with our donor and his girlfriend last night.

It was fun, relaxing, and everyone had a great time.  For all of the new followers on this blog, I’ll quickly explain that our donor and his girlfriend are two of our closest friends. We’ve known them for years and years.

This round of inseminations has gone completely differently from the first.  And I don’t even mean because we used softcups to inseminate instead of syringes with preseed.  My body feels fine, it feels mostly normal in fact.  Last cycle, during our first attempt, my body felt crazy, off, and completely foreign to me.

I suppose after getting three doses of sperm in our first attempt last month my body is more use to sperm, and is no longer being shocked by something it doesn’t recognize.

We are officially in our second two week wait!! I am feeling much more relaxed, normal, and way less crazed than after our first attempt last month.

The only thing I’ve noticed physically, which started last night, is that I have a “warm, fuzzy feeling” all throughout my ovaries and pelvic area.  I’m not sure what this is from, but it feels nice and comforting, and isn’t painful, strange, or harmful feeling, so I’m not worried.

I’ll try to update more during this two week wait than I did last cycle.  I’m happy to be feeling much more like myself this time around.

It’s here; CD1 of Our First Month of Insems

It’s begun; I got my period today.  I don’t know if I’ve ever been so excited to get my period before.

It’s such a strange feeling, because while I was happy to get it I also know that this will be the last month that I’ll be happy to see my period!

In a few weeks my wife and I will start our very first round of inseminations! After this period ends, I will began tracking of my ovulation once again, and then we will meet with our primary donor couple three different days, to do three artificial inseminations.

Since my last post, all the materials that I ordered have arrived right to our doorstep.  This includes the medical cups (for our donor to donate in), the menstrual cups (I’ll insert these to help hold the sperm inside my body) as well as the pre-seed, which is sperm friendly lubricant. (Most lubricants are harmful to sperm!)

As for the syringes we went in person to a CVS pharmacy.  I went up to the counter, and, trying not to seem too awkward, asked for 5 cc baby syringes.

The pharmacist asked me what I needed the syringes for….and I was completely honest.  I told her we needed them to perform artificial insemination at home to try to conceive a baby.

She asked what size we would need, and both my wife and I told her we weren’t sure.  So she handed me a bag with six syringes inside of it, two each of three different sizes-free of charge!!

ALL TTC supplies

This is what all the supplies looks like that we will be using for the artificial inseminations.  Donation cups, syringes, menstrual cups, pre-seed, and ovulation prediction kits.

We’ve got all our materials, and our primary donor couple are ready to go later this month.  We went out with them Saturday night to celebrate our donor’s birthday, and it was a blast and a half.

This past Sunday we sat down with our secondary donor couple to have “the talk” about all the fine details.  As with our primary donor couple the talk went well, and all four of us are also on the same page.

Our secondary donor even asked about future kids/pregnancies, and if we would need a donor in the future! He blew my mind away when he asked this question.

For now we are only focusing on this pregnancy, and this first kid, but the knowledge that we may have a donor for a second pregnancy two, three, or even five years from now fills me with so much optimism and security.

My wife and I are so excited!! I have a feeling this period is going to last forever.  And then of course, after this first round of inseminations we’ll be in our very first two week wait…which I’m sure will last forever and a half.

Cheers to February, our first month trying to conceive; it’s likely that Valentine’s Day will be one of our insemination nights!

Ovulation Tracking, and Our FIRST Doctor Appointment!

It’s here; our first doctors appointment is tomorrow.  The one where we sit down with an OBGYN and disclose that we are beginning the journey of trying to conceive a pregnancy at home via artificial insemination.

My wife and I have been together for over five years, and we’ve been married for over a year.  This coming October will be be six years of being a couple, and two full years of marriage.

We talked about wanting a family someday as early on as four months into our relationship.  I have always wanted kids, and to be a Mom.  More importantly, I always wanted to be pregnant at least once in my life.  My wife has also always wanted kids and to be a Mom, but she also knew that she didn’t want to ever be pregnant.

I can’t believe that we are here! I can’t believe the time has come.  Five years of moving, and growing, and saving money, and learning.  Five years of learning about each other, and ourselves, of moving forward in our careers and preparing for, well, exactly this.

Something that is as equally as exciting, if not even more is that I successfully caught my ovulation to a T this first month of tracking-I ovulated last night!

I’ve never in my life, before this month, have known when my ovulation window was for my cycle, let alone an exact time or day that I ovulated.

In more news, our primary donor couple came over Monday evening.  It was “the big sit down” where the four of us wanted to go over the specifics of this whole exchange.  I started out by re-touching on the most important step, in my opinion, which is our donor signing away all of his legal rights.  For about the third or fourth time, he verbally stated that he would sign away all his rights, and even went onto say that he would not have agreed to be our donor if signing away his rights weren’t an option.

After that we talked about what life would look like for all of us if there were a successful pregnancy from his seed.  I’m extremely happy to report that all of these discussions were pretty easy, and painless, and that all four of us seem to be on the same page!

After the serious discussions were over we enjoyed a tasty dinner that my wife prepared,  and we all got drunk and played a Harry Potter game until 1:00 A.M. We had a blast.  There was so much laughter.  We started to joke about the inseminations, and trying to get me pregnant, and I just love that everyone seems so excited, and comfortable.

To say that things are going well with all of this prep would be an understatement.  I feel very supported, and taken care of.  By my wife, yes, but also by our donor couple.  My wife and donor couple seem passionate about trying to get me pregnant.  I’m hoping our appointment with our OBGYN goes well in the morning, and that she seems passionate and excited to help us as well.

We are wondering if she’s going to order an HSG right away, to have my tubes and uterus looked at, or if she’s simply going to suggest we try for 3-4 months before taking the step of ordering an HSG.

I’m not sure which option I’d prefer-to do the HSG now, or to go ahead and try conceiving for a few months. Either way, we’ll find out in the morning, and if she does tell us to go ahead and start trying next month, our donor couple is ready and willing to start inseminations!

I’m expecting things to take a while, and even a long while at that.  I’m expecting a few chemical pregnancies, or even a miscarriage, or two.

And even with those expectations, I’m so freaking excited to finally be starting this journey!

Entering 2017 With Two Secured Donors

Three days after this past Christmas one of my best friends came over for a visit.  This friend came over already knowing about our upcoming TTC journey this year, knowing most of what was involved, and the fact that we were still looking for a secondary/backup donor.

After lots of talking, and me explaining how everything worked, and her asking lots of questions, she looked me straight in the eye, with a tone of hopefulness and lightness to her voice, and asked me if we had any interest in using her husband as our secondary donor.  I admitted right away that he had made our “list” of possible donors, and that we would, in fact, like to use him with her blessing.

They both know that he would sign his parental and all rights away, just as our first donor couple do.  They are both very relaxed about everything, and truly seem on board with being a donor couple for us.  The four of us, my wife included, will sit down later this month to go over all the little details.

I cannot believe that we are entering 2017 with two known donors on board.  And these aren’t just two known donors that we just happened to find; they are the first two donors at the top of my list whom I hoped would work out, and who would be willing to help us.

Our first pack of OPKs (ovulation prediction kits) are currently in the mail and on their way to us.  I will start tracking my ovulation with my period this month.  Our first doctor’s appointment is sixteen days away.  This weekend we are going to buy our first bottle of prenatals, which I plan to start taking immediately.

I cannot believe we are here.  I cannot believe this year is here.  It’s truly 2017, we have two known donors, and a doctor’s appointment coming up.

I almost want to pinch myself to make sure this is all real.  Both my head and my heart can hardly take that all this preparation is happening, and that we may start trying for a pregnancy in just a few months!

Christmas Eve With Our New Donor Couple

My wife and I were invited to spend Christmas Eve with our very newly secured donor couple this year.  When I say “very newly” secured I mean that I sat down with them both just a week ago today, separately, and asked if they would be a donor couple for us.

We made an apple pie and brought it over to their home. I had offered to after our donor’s girlfriend told us that she planned on buying one after all the dinner they were cooking. At the time that I had offered, via text message, she seemed very warmed and happy that I had offered.

The evening was fun and warm, and full of secret glances and smiles.  A short while after we had arrived, our donor followed me into their kitchen.

He greeted me with a laugh as he said “Hey Baby Mama!,” and I, comfortable in our level of friendship and years of knowing each other, plunged right in with “so you are truly on board with all of this?”

For a moment he looked somewhat hurt at the thought that maybe I wasn’t fully trusting that he was 100% willing to be our donor.  But, this was the first time seeing him since I had sat him down and asked.  My heart was too afraid to accept several text message confirmations as truly being on board.

He instantly reassured me with “How could I deny you this happiness? My only concern was that (insert his girlfriend’s name) was on board, and with her blessing, I am fully in.”

So then I plunged right along, and asked if he would be willing to possibly start earlier than we had originally discussed.  He looked me squarely in the eye and told me that he’s on my schedule, and that he’s ready to start donations whenever I am.

I later relayed this conversation privately to my wife, and it made her night as much as it made mine.

We got home that night and we opened a new bottle of sparkling cider that had been given to us to celebrate officially having donors. (We had both had enough alcohol by this point in the night.)

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Christmas with my family this year was a blast and a half.  We ate too much food, watched the movie Willow, and spent the entire day together.

We got many gifts, but honestly, they were a background in my mind.  The gift of having a solid donor couple, and of having a donor, is more than I could have asked for this year.

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These pride mugs from my brother and sister-in-law definitely made me happy though.  =)

I hope anyone who read this had a fantastic holiday this year.  I’m very excited to be heading towards 2017.  We have a doctor’s appointment, we have secured donors, and I’m excited for the journey ahead.